SongOfTheRiver

I Run Run Run Fast As I Can But It’s Not Fast Enough Never Is Never Will Be And Hiding Won’t Help I Can’t Stop Either Because I’ll Be Found The Only Way To Survive Is To Stay Literally One Step Ahead Then Another And Another Until My Whole World Is Running Running Running Voices Behind Me Spur Me Faster It Might Be Them Or It Might Not No Time To Stop And Check No Time For Anything But Running Running Running I Hear A Gunshot And Something Whizzes Past My Head And I’m Off Faster Than Before If That’s Possible Suddenly There Are Flashing Lights And More Shots Hands Around Me And Someone Telling Me I Can Stop

People say I am happy and it seems so, at a glance, but really search and I see yelling fights abuse profanity tears fears hate mocking self- degradation depression stress rage and I say look again.

Everywhere I go you judge because I look different and talk different and dress different and walk different and like different things and know different things but so don’t you?

What is life? Nothing of great importance- a beating heart a few actions some words hardly to be recognized or remembered What is the purpose of life? So, there is one, then? Let me take a shot in the dark- helping others? bettering ourselves? I myself have never seen the point for I have come to believe there is none Why should we continue to live? Yes, why should we? I believe that we shouldn’t all we do is ruin the Earth where will we live after we waste our current home? nowhere- we should simply die off it would do more good than harm Why do you persist to live, then? That’s a very good question, one I don’t know the a

alone but Nobody knows alone yet Nobody cares alone though Nobody sees beaten but Nobody knows beaten yet Nobody cares beaten though Nobody sees confused but Nobody knows confused yet Nobody cares confused though Nobody sees devastated but Nobody knows devastated yet Nobody cares devastated though Nobody sees empty but Nobody knows empty yet Nobody cares empty though Nobody sees forgotten but Nobody knows forgotten yet Nobody cares forgotten though Nobody sees ground helpless ignored judged kicked lifeless but Nobody knows misunderstood nervous oppressed pained questioned ruined yet Nobody cares suppressed terrified unsure violated wo

I cry not for the body, now lifeless, beyond help. I cry not for the body, the pain it felt, the fear. I cry not for the body, but what the body left. I cry for the remaining, the pain they feel now, the loss, the confusion. I cry for those who stay, for their tears, their sorrow. I cry not for the dead, but the living- They who must yet endure.

I choke on my heart As it crawls up my throat Leaving nothing in its wake; I let it, Embrace it, Allowing the emptiness To eat me away Eroding what was left Of the shadow of the Person I once was. You could have stopped it, Saved me From fading into oblivion, But you let me sink Far away, Leaving those who Proclaimed to Love me, But lied.

I speak and you hear but do you listen? You have two ears and one mouth; use them in that order. You smile and nod as if you understand but you’re not here even though you’re standing right in front of me. You look concerned and hug me and say     I’m sorry     So unfortunate but then you check your watch and tap your foot. Your eyes glaze slightly and I know that you don’t.